The Worst Reality Could Throw At You
by cherrychica89
Summary: When life gives you lemons...' I don't think Harry has heard this phrase before. These are the rants straight out of the journal of HP. LinkinPark song. A bit Dark one-shot. Anger. Quite funny if you're twisted like me.


I've never written a non-slapstick fic before, but I've always wanted to write angst. My first songfic, too. I just can't work up the nerve. Anyway, I've always thought that Linkin Park's song "Breaking the Habit" was a totally perfect match for HP after the book 5, right? Well, a lot of Linkin Park songs fit with the whole HP series. "Runaway" is a good one for book 5, too. Okay, I'm rambling now. Enjoy!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own HP. (duh)  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
HARRY'S JOURNAL  
  
Finally, some peace and quiet. It seems like it's been harder and harder to achieve something so simple these days. But then again, nothing is simple these days.  
  
Maybe it's just me? Maybe I just can't reach solitude because of this constant buzzing that follows me around in my head. It's been here ever since I was TOLD about that fucking prophecy. Yea, yea, I get to whoop arse and defeat all. Oh, what fun it'll be to get to, what was it? Oh yea, die or die trying. How nice.  
  
You know, I DON'T WANT to be the one who has to do EVERYTHING anymore.  
  
'Harry, go get the stone' 'Yessir'  
  
'Harry, go kill the beast and save the damsel' 'Of course'  
  
'Harry, save everyone you love from those awful feeling-suckers' 'It's what I dream about'  
  
'Harry, go BATTLE DEATH and REVIVE THE WORST MONSTER ON THE PLANET. Oh, and while your at it, bring this INNOCENT down with you' 'Your wish is my command'  
  
'Harry, GO STICK THIS KNIFE IN YOUR EYE AND TWIST IT! TELL ME HOW IT FEELS!' 'OH, IT'D BE MY PLEASURE!'  
  
I can't believe the things the world expects from a BLOODY 16 YEAR OLD! I mean really, do people hear it when they talk? Not like I'm not enough of a freak already, BUT LET'S ADD A BIT MORE, SHALL WE? Why don't we all sit back and watch how much it will take for him to crack? Let's see, start off with tragic death of loving parents, add a bit of destroyed childhood, AND THEN LET'S PUT AN INSANE MASS MURDERER TO BREATH DOWN HIS NECK EVERY NOW AND THEN. Not to mention that the ONE PERSON who was the closest I could get to a parent FALLS THROUGH A FUCKING ARCH! WHAT IS THAT ABOUT?! AN ARCH?! WHAT?? YOU COULDN'T COME UP WITH ANYTHING BETTER UP THERE?!  
  
So anyways, here I sit, writing down these tedious little thoughts of mine in this book. Ha, maybe someday some fool will find this book and realize what the worst reality could throw at you REALLY is. Probably would serve them right, too. Too many people take things for granted.  
  
Hermione gave me the notion of a good idea today. Well, lately I've been feeling that merely writing my thoughts down here isn't enough to vent my feelings, it's never enough. So for some reason I got this idea to write poems. Hermione was babbling about something and the word 'poems' caught in my mind. It sounded good after I thought about it. Here goes.  
  
Memories consume  
  
Like opening the wound  
  
I'm picking me apart again  
  
You all assume I'm safe here in my room  
  
Unless I try to start again  
  
I DON'T WANT to be the one the battles always choose  
  
Cuz inside I realize  
  
That I'm the one confused  
  
I DON'T KNOW what's worth fighting for  
  
Or why I have to SCREAM  
  
I don't know why I instigate  
  
And say what I don't mean  
  
I don't know how I got this way  
  
I KNOW IT'S NOT ALRIGHT  
  
So I'm breaking the habit  
  
Tonight  
  
Clutching my cure  
  
I tightly lock the door  
  
I try to catch my breath again  
  
I hurt much more  
  
Than anytime before  
  
I had NO OPTIONS left again  
  
I'll paint it on the walls  
  
Cuz I'M THE ONE AT FAULT  
  
I'll NEVER fight again  
  
And this is how IT ENDS  
  
I don't know what's worth fighting for  
  
Or why I have to scream  
  
But now I have some clarity  
  
To show you what I mean  
  
I don't know how I got this way  
  
I'll never be alright  
  
So I'm breaking the habit  
  
I'm breaking the habit  
  
Tonight  
  
Well that took long enough to make it sound right, but hey, it worked. I feel a lot better. Vented. Almost. Honestly, I don't even know where those words came from. I don't even know what some of it means, but after reading it all, it just clicks. Weird. Now my head aches. Dammit.  
  
I wonder if I should thank Hermione. No, she'd just be confused, and I know how much she hates that.  
  
I'll do this again later.  
  
-Harry-  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -  
  
A/N  
  
I wrote this for ME, so if you don't like it then shit on you! It just popped in my head out of absolutely nowhere. A lot of you readers won't understand the reason behind this, but I see things differently and as I said before, I wrote this for ME. I wasn't even writing a fic and I wasn't going to post it but something possessed me to do so. So, after a long while, I fixed it up and added A LOT and this is the end product. Yes, it is lame and unoriginal but I wrote this just after the 5th book came out and it was original on FanFiction THEN okay?!  
  
Review if you wish, they are always appreciated. It just lets me know if people are reading this or not. Just say-"I read it" or "It was good". No flames please. If flames, no personal attacks. Wtf did I ever do to you? I didn't FORCE you to read a damn thing.  
  
This wasn't made to offend anyone and if it did then you're a hot head and I have every right to my opinions. It's not like they're hurting anyone. 


End file.
